The Faith to Marry by Paul R. Warner

I found this wonderful Ensign article about single men in the Church who are reluctant to marry for a variety of reasons. It is based upon a Brigham Young University Master’s thesis, and it includes recommendations for overcoming fears that inhibit young men from getting married in a timely fashion. Oh, how I wish I had read this when I was single. I might have married earlier, had more children, and lived to see more of my grandchildren. Because I married so late, I may not even get to meet all of my grandchildren. I will almost certainly not see all of them grow to adulthood. Life is so short.

One interesting passage from the article addresses the thought that one must receive revelation about who to marry. Then if such revelation is not forthcoming, marriage is postponed indefinitely:

“How do you choose a wife?” Elder Bruce R. McConkie asked. “I’ve heard a lot of young people from Brigham Young University and elsewhere say, ‘I’ve got to get a feeling of inspiration. I’ve got to get some revelation. I’ve got to fast and pray and get the Lord to manifest to me whom I should marry.’ Well, maybe it will be a little shock to you, but never in my life did I ever ask the Lord whom I ought to marry. It never occurred to me to ask him. I went out and found the girl I wanted; she suited me; I evaluated and weighed the proposition, and it just seemed a hundred percent to me as though this ought to be. Now, if I’d done things perfectly, I’d have done some counseling with the Lord, which I didn’t do; but all I did was pray to the Lord and ask for some guidance and direction in connection with the decision I’d reached.” (“Agency or Inspiration—Which?” Speeches of the Year, Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1973, p. 111.)

In my own experience, waiting for revelation can be frustrating, especially when it comes to getting married. After dating Esperanza for many months, and a wonderful friendship had developed, I finally asked the Lord if I should marry her. And I received a very clear impression that I was asking a stupid question. She was the epitome of a virtuous woman as described in Prov. 31:10-31, and I was nearly thirty-three years old. Of course, I should marry her. Did I want to stay single forever, or marry only in my old age? Luckily for me, it turned out to be the smartest and wisest thing I ever did. Treating her well for twenty-seven years has been the crowning achievement of my life so far.

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4 Responses to The Faith to Marry by Paul R. Warner

  1. Steve Graham says:

    John said:
    Maybe the Lord has prepared several sisters for you

    Steve replied:
    I had to smile at this. Given that I believe in D&C 132 that certainly could be the case 😉 However, I don’t remember the plural case being used.

    Whoever it is and however many they are, I certainly hope that I will be ready.

    Steve

  2. Steve Graham,

    Maybe the Lord has prepared several sisters for you, and you need only choose one from among them. Is that possible without contradicting your priesthood blessing? Or does your blessing specifically state that only one sister is being prepared?

  3. Steve Graham says:

    I’ve recently been given a priesthood blessing in which I was told that the Lord is preparing someone for me. While I am reasonably certain that most any 2 people who are trying to live the Gospel can create a happy marriage together, in my case I would consider such a failure if I did not find the one the Lord is preparing for me. As Mormons we believe that this life is not the beginning of our intelligent existence and we know of some commitments that we made in the pre-mortal existence. Does it not make sense that we may have made such covenants with the daughter of God whom the Lord had chosen for us then? Or whom we had chosen with His blessings? Of course with the veil in place, He is the only one who can tell us her identity.

    My 2 cents.

    Steve Graham

  4. Geoff J says:

    I never felt there was only one soulmate in the world for people. I did check with God before proposing to Kristen though. I said “should I propose to her” and he said “heck yes you should! Gosh!”

    (Just kidding)

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